Simulcast in GMT

Previously recorded, from Whitechapel open mic thread:

I used to take photos of empty places - parking lots and garages, night-time buildings and streetlights. Dark streets don't seem to hold my eye anymore : this bothers me, sometimes. When I cross the bridge in late evening and I see the slanting sun strobing between the beams, I think, this should be moving me.

The SPCA was a big green pet park in the middle of an industrial zone. Directly across, there was some kind of building rubbish processing place - mountains of rebar and concrete, big earth moving machines kicking them around in great clouds of dust. I stood and stared but didn't wonder where my camera was.

I wax and wane among the verbal and the visual. Sometimes I hang suspended in between, trying to diagram sentences, dance about architecture. Sometimes afternoon becomes too early, sometimes midnight becomes late. The in-betweenings are so strange for me. I know my states, like valences. The indeterminate has that unfinished feeling, between freeway exits, stitches, channels in the dim hours. The uncertainty of not just where I am but a doubtfulness about where I was, and a lack of confidence about where to go next.

I am annoyed by my own posturing, but I crave validation. I crawl in and out of my shell like a creature not long from the sea. I forget to drink; I rarely drink to forget.

It's not so much that I'm a seeker of wisdom and meaning, it's just that you can only play so many video games before you wonder - wasn't there something else I was going to do? I want to make art - I want to write - I want to invent - I want to leave a footprint on the world larger than my tired calcium and my flung dna. I want my spirit to rise and agitate the future.

I want the sound of insects and electronic devices to ring in the heads of people I've never met and for them to thrill at it, confounded.